i hardly exist at all

Looks like I could never follow the ten commandments, specifically commandment 10: You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, nor his male servant, nor his female servant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor’s.

While I’m not coveting anyone else, I sure am jealous of other people’s things/themselves. I feel very unaccomplished. I’m constantly working, but I haven’t enough self control. I just want more more more, and perfection, and I can’t figure out how other people are doing it. I sure cannot. Case in point, last night. I wish I wasn’t so down on myself.

On a completely different note, I voted on Friday! VOTED! I can finally vote, and what a perfect election to be able to. When I circled in that little circle that said, “OBAMA/BIDEN,” I almost cried, I was so happy. I’d like to think my opinion means something, that my vote counts, but it is Kansas. (sigh)

“Who am I if I’m alone? / I hardly exist at all. /Let’s pretend that we don’t need anything anymore from anyone. /I don’t want to feel anything anymore, let’s just pretend /we’ll live happily ever after,” Fairytales Tell Tales, Cursive

I’m listening to, “Piano Concerto No.2 In C Minor, Op. 18 – 1. Moderato, Allegro” by Rachmaninoff, and nothing is making sense.

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