jesus, etc.

everything has changed so much in the last week, i can hardly stand it.
i’m overwhelmed and emotional in a way that i haven’t been in a long time.
i’m trying desperately to shut this overflow of feeling, but i haven’t been accomplishing.
i just can’t do this anymore.

in the last couple of days i was asked by someone very dear to me, exactly how i felt about the situation.
and i told him, as the conversation was brutally honest, and in a way i never wanted to have any other conversation ever again,

“honestly, i’m tired. all of this, everything makes me feel so tired. in the literal never being able to sleep sort of way, but also in the emotional melancholy sort of way. more exactly, i also feel very very old. perhaps even hundreds of years so.”

and i can’t reiterate how i feel in any better way.
i just need a long rest, from everything.

i can’t see people anymore, so it seems.

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